No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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