just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
