"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
