he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
