well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
