Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I love you. Go after that dick
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
