6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
