I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize