i was born a porn star she said
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I love you. Go after that dick
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize