You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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