You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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