you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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