I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How's work?
Spinning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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