Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I came so hard my ears popped.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
