this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
NoShamevember. You game?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize