Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
