Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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