Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize