drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
