Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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