addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
