I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
