i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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