If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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