update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
