How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
