My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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