Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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