Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
