My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
