i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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