Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
