She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
