no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize