This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Enjoy the penises
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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