i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
