I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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