sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
