I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dignity is for republicans.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
