I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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