I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
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He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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