Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
