I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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