R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
