Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
