why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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