he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
only if we run a train.
done.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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