youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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