i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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