Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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