i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We talked him into tasing himself.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
