New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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