So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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