This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
