so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize