I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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