just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
