Your dad touched me again.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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