I'm gonna have a badass scar
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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