how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize