I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
