im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
