No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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