I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
