Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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