Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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