i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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